First things first, hookers: my “couple of the decade” separated, and I’m pissed. Tea Leoni and David Duchovny? After 14 years? I always used y’all for the “famous couple together the longest” game. Now I’m fucked. Thanks for being selfish, Tea and Dave.
P.S. Tea, you were unforgettable in Deep Impact because, chief among reasons, it had a deep impact on me (gurl! oh no he di’n’t!)
Secondly, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson are returning next year for American Idol. And guess what: I’m pissed. I’d rather no more American Idol at this point if they’re just going to keep judges on the show that either (A) have a seven-word vocabulary of a street thug trying to obtain cocaine or (B) talks more out of his ass than Oprah did (Thanks, Jesus, for letting me be able to use past tense when referring to her).
Lastly, I will never stop trying to get the rest of American to watch Big Brother (new season debuts on Thursday, July 7th at 8pm CST on CBS). I will now unleash a cornucopia of great video footage from seasons past to whet your appetite.