His Opinion on Some Summer Movies

Avengers_Age_of_Ultron

It was going to be pretty hard to top its predecessor.  Needless to say, when director Joss Whedon (also did the screenplay for the first Toy Story– lol) knew he had to one up his first Avengers flick, he knew exaaaaaactly what he was aiming for. He got everything as right as he could.  There was an entire barrel of characters in here. I was welcoming every face with open arms, even the Olsen twins’ little sissy with an awkward Russian accent.  But then when the movie made a painful effort to show every character from every recent Marvel movie, I got physically tired. Maybe, like with eye makeup, less is more? There was somehow even more action, which I have no upset stomach about. From the opening to the legit final battle scene that gave me genuine chills, it was jam-packed with explosions and fists. Bottom line: it was over-packed with so much that it didn’t have the genuine feel of the first Avengers.    B

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Poltergeist_2015_poster

Let’s remake Jaws. Let’s put a fresh spin on The Godfather.  Go look at your face in the mirror now. Exactly! Why touch something that shouldn’t be touched…unless you’re 7 years old (Fun fact- the director for this movie made 2005’s animated Monster House, so I guess he just left the proof in the pudding for me.) I don’t want to mislead you: this updated version of the over-the-top original was neat. It had some cool revisited scenes and even tried to update the other dimension- sometimes too much to where the scare-factor is gone); it just wasn’t necessary. It didn’t add anything to the original to say “this is why I remade a classic” except for some bratty ass kids that need to get beat up by a toy clown or a tree….oh, wait…. C+

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Furious_7_poster

I’ll begin by saying I didn’t see the first six Furious movies. No regrets. Anyway, I appreciated the fantastic actions scenes. Over the top? Sure, but when you’re making a seventh movie of any kind, you’ve got to grasp at straws (*cough* *Saw* *cough*). At the same time, the cast is looking a little old, I couldn’t take any of the Rock’s lines seriously (“sumabitch”), nor could I deal with Vin Diesel’s ridiculous glares (I feel like if you added up all the scenes of him giving glares, it would make up 1/5th of the movie-fun fact!). Still, the action made you forget about a lot of the silliness within the movie. For what it’s worth, at least 4 characters should have died if they were considered actual human beings in the movie, but that’s none of my business. B-

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San_Andreas_poster

Lol. Think about my sentiments about the Rock from above. Got it? Cool, moving forward, the action was, sure, ridiculous, but great popcorn bullshit fun! It’s like the director was given $100 million and told to go ham.  It’s up there with 2012, where all of the “just made it” scenes pound the hell out of you, family is reunited, the dialog is foolish, and the cast could have been played by anyone and it would have made no difference (sorry Kylei Minogue and Colton Haynes- y’all were so pointless in this movie that it makes me uncomfortable because I want to bang both of y’all.) Final words: I’m still glad the Rock isn’t the Rock anymore, the action was definitely fun, and no one expects anything otherwise from this sack of thrills. C

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Author: brian

Opinions don't matter-just mine.🙋

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