Avengers III

The Russo directors really blew shit out of the water with this one. Also behind Captain America: Winter Soldier, as well as the next two upcoming Avenger movies in, like, 2020 and 2021 or some shit, the directors turned the third installment of Captain America ultimately into that of The Avengers. And golly gee, I ain’t complainin’! Beautifully paced, not chock full of unnecessary explosions (sorry, Michael Bay, it was a bad break up), and actually concerned about characterization, Captain 3 does a lot of right things.  It segues nicely as a follow-up from the second Avengers flick, allowing us to finally and realistically watch as superheros have consequences after fucking shit up in big cities with landmarks asking to be demolished.

The battle scene that you know you’re waiting for was everything I desired and then some.  In the most polite way possible, I will state it made my nipples hard; the last time that happened, I watched as Carrie Underwood did a live rendition of “I Will Always Love You,” but I’ll save that for our first date when you and I meet.  Regardless, the showdown between the two cliques was perfect.  Also, they had some crafty and well-timed dialogue *blushes at Spiderman* that made me wanting more, which is rare for me in action movies.  You can do it in Jingle All The Way, but that’s about it.

Per your request, I’ll certainly touch on special effects. I can say I’m proud to live in this day and age where the effects are getting so enhanced that they are nearly indistinguishable from reality (No, Gods of Egypt, I’m not fucking talking to you. It’s not 1998. Get out of my car.).  Sure, I wish we didn’t have to rely on certain characters in Captain 3 to rely solely on effects (i.e., Spiderman), but I can’t always have my way. This is not my true relationship.

My one whine is the movie’s conclusion. *spoiler alert if you’re a buffoon*  Everyone makes nice within moments after beating the fucking shit out of each other. I mean, beating. the. fucking. shit. out of each other. *end of spoiler* 

B+

 

 

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Author: brian

Opinions don't matter-just mine.🙋

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