“I didn’t see it, but it’s good.”- movie theater usher

Image result for snacthed 2017

The soothsayer of a 17 year old ticket-tearing movie theater girl was spot on: it was good! I have not thought the genre of “comedy” was amusing after The Wedding Crashers in 2005. Genuinely: you name it, I probably don’t think it’s funny. For me, comedies have (more often than not) been over-hyped and been left for the apt teenager to gawk and laugh at brainlessly.  I haven’t enjoyed a dumb comedy since The Heat from 2013.  And the strange thing is I don’t care all that much for Amy Schumer. Lean in.

Snacthed was consistent, something most comedies seem to lack. From the very start, it demonstrates what kind of comedy it will be- it plays greatly on Schumer’s character’s crappy life and poor decisions while shedding a comedic light on the age gaps. This is done hilariously as director Jonathan Levine (of The Night Before) allows us to laugh as Schumer is more concerned about selfies and IG likes compared to Goldie Hawn’s maternal concerns of locking all three door locks and fears of being on vacation out of the country. The director’s choice for Hawn to play the mother comes across as random, and so her acting falls mostly flat. The side characters played by Joan Cusack and Ike Barinholtz definitely help fill in the laughs as the mute ex-Special Forces vacationer and the agoraphobic brother, respectively.

Overall, this movie does what a dumb comedy is supposed to do: make you laugh from start to finish and throughout. It was refreshing in that it didn’t center on drugs and sex like most comedies worry about. My age and nipple are showing now.  Anyways, it comes off much like Schumer’s stand-up: it’s inappropriate, picks on her flaws, and has you glad a female can be funny in these hard times. The message, or whatever the movie’s aim, may have gotten lost in the movie’s first half, but I L’ed, O’ed, and L’ed the whole gay time.

C+

 

Advertisements

“No.”- me

Related image

I guess my first question would be “Just…why?” to director F. Javier Gutierrez if I had to interview him, after slapping him in the face with a white linen glove. No one asked for a third installment. Fuck, no one asked for a sequel in 2005 when The Ring Two came out a few years after The Ring, which re-imagined horror and introduced a whole new horror genre to America.  It was directed and acted fantastically by Gore Verbinksi and Naomi Watts, respectively. Rings did nothing of the sort. It was a cheap imitation of the franchise. It did nothing to enhance the franchise or to make people feel like it offered anything except terrible acting. Which leads me to the acting. Fuck them. They were awful and deserve to be on CW or a CBS sitcom (wink wink).

I did everything I was supposed to as a spectator- I went in unbiased (knowing I’d seen the trailer and could already tell how horrible it would be); I went in wanting to be scared or even get some chills. But nooooOOOoooOOOoo, I was rode hard and put away wet. Rings tried to go deeper into the Samara story, and again I ask- why? Some things don’t need to be touched, like Roseanne, or The Godfather, or your grandmother’s fragile doll collection on the mantelpiece. I was physically angry after watching this movie, and I’m becoming physically angry as I write this. I SAID GOOD DAY.

D-