“Of course it’s woke and you have the two guys following “Eleven” in every scene (I guess because she’s more well known? but also because of woke propaganda). All the women in the film seem to be sent by their fathers?”- the woke Metacritic user, smartinvestor30, who has apparent daddy issues and may have thought he was actually watching Stanger Things

2 New Posters for Godzilla vs. Kong Promises That "One Will Fall"

The MonsterVerse franchise started with the awesome Godzilla in 2014; it was done remarkably well for a monster movie that is really the only movie of the franchise that stands on its own. 2017’s Kong: Skull Island, while a pleasure to watch, offered more of a B-grade feature. Godzilla: Kong of the Monsters from 2019 aimed too high and ended up giving us so much of so little. And here we stand, afraid to breathe on people, with Godzilla vs. Kong. Making money moves during these concerning times, it broke the pandemic record with the highest movie opening since this shit show started- making over $45 million in three days. If that doesn’t say “He is risen” for an Easter weekend, I’m not sure what does, candidly.

1 minute teaser trailer so as to not show the whole fucking movie in a 3 minute trailer

Godzilla vs. Kong is directed by Adam Wingard, and boy oh boy has he come a long way since his horror movie days with Blair Witch, Death Note, and You’re Next. I initially was concerned going into this movie knowing his track record- movies that play out much akin to a gender reveal: a lot of production with a letdown at the end. Godzilla vs Kong, however, is effective in delivering its promise- the boxing matches between these two big bois is heated and strangely beautiful (may I even say, therapeutic?) to spectate. There are moments that there is no musical score, just the lovely sounds of explosions and mayhem, and it works. It becomes an internal battle for one watching- who do you want to die? But don’t you dare make me choose one living creature over another. Babe made me do that before, and I refuse to have to do it again.

The cast, similar to King of Monsters, is overindulgent, but ultimately it’s like “I’m here for the sea monster that spits out blue lasers, not Millie Bobbie Brown.” This movie attempts to once again entwine the characters together, which is all fine and well. It’s just difficult to appreciate the tiny people when we know the two monsters are going to f some s up so hard to where millions of people are going to die anyway. However, a specific shout to to Brian Tyree Henry for not being remotely funny at all as the comedic role. 😊

Godzilla vs. Kong Trailer Pits Two Titans Against Each Other!

I’ll take a moment to defend Godzilla vs Kong in my two-prong approach. This movie definitely dips several toes in the sci-fi genre during its second act. For better or for worse, we are forced to learn about Hollow Earth making up the world’s core, how anti-gravity really works, and power sources that seem pretty convenient for the movie’s final act. Yet, it seems hard to argue that is movie is too sci-fi for one’s taste when watching an oversized lizard and a huge ass ape fight on top of a convoy in the ocean. You get what you signed up for, bub. If Fate of the Furious can have zombie cars, I’ll allow King Kong to do an NBA-style layup in Hong Kong. Additionally, some may complain that there aren’t enough monsters in Godzilla vs Kong. Let’s be frank, Frank- it’s hard to top King of Monsters in a creature-feature. But also, the titan that they sneak into the third act was a pleasant (albeit reminiscent of yesteryear’s action movie) surprise.

In conclusion, it may have been to this movie’s advantage to debut Easter weekend instead of as a summer blockbuster, so as to give it some slack: it’s an over-the-top bonanza that plays out astonishingly well as the fourth installment of a franchise, which can’t be said for many franchises. *stares at Jurassic Park III*

B-

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